


priceless touch and i'll pay the cost

by switchtaeguk



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Bottom Choi San, Canon Compliant, Explicit Sexual Content, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Top Jung Wooyoung, basically pwp with a sprinkle of plot?, maybe fwb to lovers is more accurate lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-20
Updated: 2020-09-20
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:27:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26550628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/switchtaeguk/pseuds/switchtaeguk
Summary: "He can't fall for San - he's too soft, too gentle of a soul, that turning Wooyoung down would break his heart, and he can't be the reason San hurts. Ever. So he crushes whatever feelings start to bloom for his best friend and focuses on their friendship, thinks of their little escapades as simply letting off steam."friends to lovers!woosan
Relationships: Choi San/Jung Wooyoung
Comments: 4
Kudos: 142





	priceless touch and i'll pay the cost

**Author's Note:**

> hello... long time no see?
> 
> hopefully you enjoy reading this fic, any feedback is appreciated! 
> 
> title from got to be you - don broco ; give it a listen whilst you read if you'd like, such a good song and also fits this fic!

Things between him and San are... complicated, Wooyoung thinks. Complicated, yet being around the older boy is easier than breathing. Nothing in his life has ever fell into place the way his relationship with San has, both gravitating to one another in a way that frightens him, just a little. 

From becoming best friends as trainees - innocent cuddles, deep conversations after practice, giggling in the background - to treading deeper water as they progressed through their debut - wandering hands, rushed kisses, whispering deep into the night. 

Ever since their first proper make out session (two days before their Say My Name comeback, both exhausted but filled with the buzzing anxiety that came with it) they had entered something deeper than a friendship, yet not a romantic relationship. Sloppy kisses in the dark turned into shared showers, the two panting against each other's lips as they frantically jerked each other off, which turned into blow jobs under the sheets of their shared rooms. 

And they continue like that for a while, never confronting whatever it is they have going on between them, just doing what comes naturally. Wooyoung makes an effort not to indulge in any romantic fantasies about his bandmate, just keeps it physical, and the adoration he feels for the other is purely platonic - a lie, but it's what he needs to do to protect himself, and most importantly, San. 

He can't fall for San - he's too soft, too gentle of a soul, that turning Wooyoung down would break his heart, and he can't be the reason San hurts. Ever. So he crushes whatever feelings start to bloom for his best friend and focuses on their friendship, thinks of their little escapades as simply letting off steam. It's not like they can do it any other way, so that's why San comes to him. Just to get off, plain and simple. No feelings to make things messy, just two friends helping one another out.

(None of the other members act like them, though. He ignores that thought and its implications, can't afford the hope it gives him.)

Things stay the same for a long time. The members catch on, most of them catching the two in the act at some point. Hongjoong gives them individual (Wooyoung knows because San can't keep anything from him, and vice versa) lectures about being careful and hiding their relationship - Wooyoung cuts him off, telling him that they're not together, and he's never seen their leader look so stumped. Regardless, he tells him to be careful about _whatever_ it is that they're doing, and that's the end of that.

Summer comes and goes, along with their Wave and Illusion schedules. Before they know it, they're deep into their preparation for their first full length album. It's exciting, it's draining, it's nerve-wracking, but they all get through it together. San looks prettier than ever, Wooyoung lets himself admit, with his longer hair and coloured mullet. Pretty, is all he can think when they sneak kisses in a storage cupboard of their company between vocal and dance lessons.

It's killing him slowly, but he does his best to separate himself from the part of him that yearns to call San his boyfriend, the way he can separate other aspects of himself in order to be an idol.

And it's kind of working, and things are going swimmingly. Until...

"Wooyoung... have you thought about... doing more than just... _this_?"

San's reluctant question comes as they settle down after rutting against each other to an orgasm in Wooyoung's bed, Yeosang thankfully at the studio with Hongjoong and Seonghwa to record some last minute backing vocals for the album. He's tucked under Wooyoung's arm, both lying down, cleaned up and still a little too hot but neither make any move to separate.

"I- I don't know what you mean, Sannie."

A lie. A blatant lie. Of fucking course he knows what San means. He's thought about it so many different ways - riding San 'til his thighs can't take it anymore, fucking San into the mattress, any combination of the two, and so much more.

His beautiful, trusting best friend believes him - or at least doesn't show that he knows Wooyoung is lying through his teeth.

"Y'know, like, fucking." He mumbles, before hiding his face in Wooyoung's chest, smushed against the soft fabric of his sleep shirt. Wooyoung can't help but giggle at the situation - the boldness of San bringing it up, his brash words, versus the shy boy on his chest.

"Hmm. Have you?"

"That's not an answer, Young-ah!" San whines, tilting his head to peer up, cheeks stained red with embarrassment. He doesn't know what comes over him when he grabs San's chin, squishing his lips slightly. Not hard enough to hurt in the slightest, though.

"That's not an answer, either, San-ah."

The air around them shifts, atmosphere turning headier by the second. Wooyoung feels his cock twitch in interest, fire in the pit of his stomach fueled by San's hooded gaze.

"What in the fuck are you two doing now?"

"Holy shit, Yeosang!" Wooyoung screeches, panic washing over his body before remembering that his other best friend knows what goes on between the two. At least they were just cuddling - well, cuddling plus whatever it was that just happened. Yeosang just quirks an eyebrow at the duo before peeling off his hoodie and diving onto his own bed, turning his back to them as he presumably scrolls mindlessly on his phone. He knows him well enough to know Yeosang is giving them time to quietly finish any conversations they were having before parting.

But they don't speak. San just gives him a quick peck and scrambles out of the room like a spooked cat, leaving Wooyoung a little aroused and very confused.

The next time they're alone, truly alone, meaning no cameras, members or staff, is a couple of weeks later. Everything lines up perfectly so that they have the whole dorm to themselves for a couple of hours - yeah, just _perfect_ , Wooyoung thinks glumly, not prepared for whatever confrontation is about to happen. It's not that he doesn't want San, that goes without saying. He's just so fucking scared. What happens if they actually fuck? He's not sure he can hold back everything that he's feeling. He's not sure they can go back once they cross that line. Sure they're intimate in many ways, emotionally and physically, but this would be a whole other level.

Clearly, San has been thinking about it, from his question the other week. So no matter what happens, this doesn't end well. He either breaks San's confidence by making him think that he doesn't want him in _that_ way, doesn't find him attractive enough to sleep with - fucked up logic but he knows San is too sensitive and prone to jumping to conclusions - or he sleeps with him and makes him feel like a one night stand, or even worse, sleeps with him, and can't keep his big mouth shut, and then San will never treat him the same again, knowing that there's feelings involved.

His mind is going a thousand miles an hour, and he's so caught up in his spiralling thoughts that he doesn't notice San until he's standing right beside his bed, scaring him enough to make him scream for a second. It makes San laugh, at least. Yeah, you'd do anything if it made him happy wouldn't you, you whipped asshole? He pushes that unnecessary, bitter thought to the side and looks up at his best friend - who will hopefully remain his best friend after this all goes down.

"What's up?"

He tries to sound casual, but even to his own ears his voice is pitchy, words coming out awkward and stilted, making him cringe a little.

"Can we talk?" San asks, but it's spoken like a statement. They _will_ talk, because what type of person would Wooyoung be if he said no? And he can't exactly run from him, they're members of the same damn group. So all Wooyoung can do is nod stiffly, sitting up against his pillows to make space for the other boy. San sits on the edge of the bed, looking meek, nervous. His hands tremble softly in his lap and Wooyoung wants to cry.

"A-are you... does fucking me really repulse you that much, Wooyoung?"

Wooyoung might _actually_ cry. San sounds so insecure, voice shaking from the tears he's clearly holding back. When he reaches out habitually to comfort San with his touch, the older boy flinches away, and he feels his heart shatter into thousands of pieces.

"San-ah, Sannie, listen to me. Where did you get that from?"

"I- I don't know you never mentioned it after that day and t-then we haven't really been speaking much and you haven't touched me-"

San's rambling is cut off by Wooyoung leaning forward and cupping his face with two hands, pressing their lips together, kissing until the shock wears off and San is kissing him back, albeit a lot less confidently than any other time they had kissed. He doesn't even move his hands from his lap, just lets Wooyoung kiss him. After he conveys all he can without words, Wooyoung pulls away, breathing heavily as he stares San in the eyes - he knows he must look intense right now, because he's truly let go of all his pretences. Fuck it, he loves the boy in front of him. How could he not, when he just felt the most heartbroken he had ever felt. Nothing could compare to the pain of knowing he made San feel unwanted, undesirable.

"I- San, fuck, who wouldn't want you? How could _I_ not want you? I love you, idiot. It's always been you, for me. I want nothing more than to do everything with you, but I can't when you don't love me back!"

The silence that follows Wooyoung's outburst is so tense that he swears time stops. If it weren't for the seriousness of the situation, he would've laughed at the way San's mouth opens and closes, pouty lips making him look like a goldfish. But nothing about this situation is funny at all, he wants to fucking run, in all honesty. He's actually looking past San, deciding whether or not it would be worth it just to bolt out of the room, when San launches himself into his lap - literally _pounces_ on Wooyoung - lips hungrily swallowing the surprised yelp that the sudden action elicits.

"Oh my God, Wooyoung, I love you so much, just, what the fuck, you love me too, I-" San gasps between desperate kisses, being cut off when Wooyoung threads his fingers through the older boy's hair and drags him back into a filthy kiss. He never knew a love confession could be so heated, but he doesn't feel any regret as his - whatever, something, not friends but something more - best-friend-slash-boy-he's-in-love-with-who-loves-him-back wriggles in his lap 'til he's straddling Wooyoung's outstretched legs, their crotches almost touching. There's too many pent up emotions, too much held back, even when they had gotten each other off before, it wasn't like this, and suddenly Wooyoung knows that they were both holding back. Looking back, he can see it. Because now, they're nothing short of animalistic, hands exploring every inch of exposed skin, mouths caught up in a kiss that's bordering aggressive, it's all so fucking much and he's getting hard in his sweatpants, fuck.

"San, Sannie, st-stop. I- I don't - if you don't want to go further right now, we should stop, we can stop whenever you want."

Wooyoung actually has to physically pull San back by the hair in order to say this, an action that should've been at least a little bit painful but all San's face shows is pure lust, eyes darker than he's ever seen before. He doesn't stutter, just stares into Wooyoung's damn soul as he speaks, "I want it, I want you, Young-ah. Fuck me."

With a low growl he pushes 'til San is laid out beneath him, legs snaking around his waist as hovers over the black haired boy. He takes a second to admire him, looking nothing short of a masterpiece with his flushed skin and sparkling eyes, sharp features sensual but delicate at the same time. It shouldn't make sense but one look at San and he understands how someone can be so many conflicting things at once. The oversized shirt San has on has slipped off one shoulder, revealing an expanse of golden skin and the urge to litter the area with possessive marks is overwhelming, but he _can't_ because of upcoming schedules. "Fuck, Sannie, I want to mark you up so bad, show everyone who you belong to." He settles for laving his tongue over the junction between San's shoulder and neck, scraping his teeth over the skin, a taster for what'll happen the second he gets the chance. "Another time, though."

His words make San whine lowly, a sound that goes straight to his dick. God, everything about San right now is scandalously hot, he thinks he might explode. He wants to wreck him, wants to show San everything he's been holding back, wants to make him forget every negative thought he's thought in the past couple of weeks. And that's what he's going to do. As he trails his mouth up San's neck, up and up 'til they're kissing again, he thanks his lucky stars that he gets to have this, gets to have Choi San, the most selfless, beautiful, loving boy he's ever met, who is more than he could ever deserve.

Quite frankly, Wooyoung can't wait much longer to get inside San, not long enough to take his time and take his lover apart like he would have wanted to in an ideal world. But there's always another time. He giggles as he pulls away from their heated kiss, thrilled - he can have his boy in every way he's ever dreamed about. San gives him a quirk of his eyebrow but doesn't ask him why he's laughing. Wooyoung has a feeling he probably knows and feels the same kind of giddy delight he's experiencing. Judging by the beaming smile San is sporting, yeah, they're both on cloud nine.

He can't resist the urge to press a quick peck to San's pouty lips before he sits himself up, leaning over to grab his backpack from the floor beside his bed. He fishes out a bottle of lube he had just opened the other night, rummages around 'til he finds one of the handful of condoms Hongjoong had thrown onto his bed without a word at some point after he'd found out about him and San messing around. Wooyoung's pretty sure a human has never turned the shade of red he had once he realised what was lying on his sheets. Right in front of Yeosang as well, the bastard, as if he needed more stuff to humiliate Wooyoung with. Embarrassing memories aside, he places the items at San's hips before placing his hands over the them, stroking the jutting bones through San's thin t-shirt.

"You really want this?" He just needs to be sure. 

"Wooyoung! Really, I need you. I love you. I've wanted this for so long... are _you_ sure?" San trails off with a pout, kicking his legs as much as he can with Wooyoung seated just above his knees.

"Of course I'm sure, I love you too, San. Let me show you, hm?" With that, he gets to work undressing both of them, as quickly as he can without separating himself from San for too long. By the time he's down to his boxers, he has San completely naked beneath him, and he has to catch his breath. San's all lithe muscles, waist devastatingly tiny but shoulders broad, thighs sculpted to perfection, creating a valley to his cock that's leaking and red and just so pretty that Wooyoung can barely function. "You're so beautiful, Sannie. So fucking beautiful and all mine." 

"Mmh, yours. You too, my Wooyoungie." San retorts shyly, not knowing what to do with himself as Wooyoung devours him with his eyes. But then, out of nowhere he gains confidence, the duality giving Wooyoung whiplash. "Now please, make me forget about how we fucked it up so badly, make me forget everything, Woo. Give it to me so good I can't speak." 

"Shut up you little minx, I might actually break you if you keep speaking like that. Won't be able to fucking control myself Sannie, trust me. I'll give you everything you want." Wooyoung growls, diving in kiss the life out of his lover one last time. He sucks harshly on San's tongue, revelling in the choked moan it pulls from the older boy. For the first time that night, he grinds his hips down, own clothed dick dragging against San's exposed one, making both of them moan into their kiss. He's never felt so turned on before, and they've barely even touched each other. He continues like that for a little longer, tongue exploring San's mouth as he guides his hips in controlled strokes, working up the other boy 'til he's panting into Wooyoung's mouth. Satisfied with how desperate San is beginning to sound, he stops. "How do you wanna do this, baby?" 

"Just like this, wanna see you." 

He's so in love. He crawls backwards, makes a space between San's legs where he settles on his knees. 

"Okay, I've got you. Gonna open you up now. Let me know if it hurts or if you need me to stop." 

It's hard not to be nervous - he's never done this with anyone before, and he's pretty sure San hasn't either. Of course, he's fingered himself a couple of times before, and he doesn't even want to think about whether or not San has too because the thought of San, fingers in his ass, whining 'cause it's so much but not enough, is so sexy he might just cum on the spot. He glances up to meet San's eyes that reflect the fondness he knows is pouring from his own gaze. With an encouraging nod from San, he grabs the lube and squirts some onto the palm of his left hand, warming it up a little before wrapping a fist around San's cock, eliciting a sharp hiss from the older boy.

As with most things tonight, they'd done it before, but it feels so different now. Wooyoung knows it sounds silly and cheesy but truly, knowing that they love each other changes everything, makes it a thousand times more intense. He moves his hand, twisting it up and down slowly just to feel San shudder every time his palm grazes the sensitive head. After a couple of strokes he stops, squeezes out a decent amount of lube into his right hand, warming it up between his fingers for longer since he'll be fingering San with this hand. Once he's happy with the temperature, he goes back to gently stroking San as he circles a finger around San's hole, snickering as his thighs fall further apart, hips canting slightly in impatience. He's not much better himself, so it only takes a few seconds before he's sliding a finger into San and oh, fuck. He's tight, but definitely not as tight as he'd have expected, so he looks up for an answer. San is beet red, probably rivalling Wooyoung's shade after the Hongjoong condom situation. 

"Done it in the shower this morning, c-couldn't stop thinking about you. Thought you h-hated me but still, couldn't think of anything else, Youngie. Always you." San whines out in a continuous flow, one of his forearms coming up to rest on his forehead in a half-assed attempt to cover his face. Wooyoung lets out a whine of his own at that, forehead pressed against San's thigh to compose himself before continuing. 

"Fuck, baby, I know. Always was you, for me." He doesn't give more information than that, not right now, just gets to work opening up the pliant boy in front of him, removing his hand from San's cock, doesn't want him to cum right now. Not 'til Wooyoung is inside him. The whole process is sped up by the fact that San had fingered himself in the shower earlier - Wooyoung stifles a groan - so before long he's got three fingers in San's ass, scissoring gently, occasionally bumping against his prostate judging from the yelps San lets out every time he brushes a certain spot. 

"Enough, enough, 'm good. Please, can't take it any longer." San groans out hand grasping at Wooyoung's wrist. He doesn't take much convincing, trusts that San knows his limits. He scrambles to get his boxers off, palming himself quickly to take the edge off. "Oh my God, if I wasn't so desperate for you to fuck me I'd suck the soul out of you right now." San mumbles upon eyeing up Wooyoung's dick, making them both laugh, a little ecstatically delirious. With shaky hands he tears the condom open and rolls it over his cock, thighs trembling at the stimulation. He grabs the lube and pours a generous amount over himself and directly onto San's hole, earning a sharp slap from the boy in question due to the cold sensation. He mumbles out an apology, crawling up to kiss his boy again - it felt like too long since they'd kissed.

They kiss until San is grumbling against his lips about just _fucking_ him already. He grabs his dick, lining it up and then presses forward, pushing past the slight resistance slowly, enters San inch by inch 'til he's fully sheathed. San's walls hug his cock snugly and it's so good, he has to restrain himself from letting go and just fucking into the warmth that engulfs him. Instead, he leans down to lick into San's slightly open mouth, one hand holding his body up whilst the other caresses the face of his lover. He gets lost in the kiss for longer than he had intended, but is pulled back to reality when San clenches needily around him. 

"You good?" 

"Mmhm. Move." 

So that's what he does, begins with slow, deep strokes, relishing every drag of San's velvety walls against him, moans tumbling from his mouth with reckless abandon. He tries to keep his eyes open as much as he can to witness the sight of San, all fluttering eyelashes and pretty mewls, but it's hard. Nothing could have prepared him for this, all the fantasies he'd ever indulged in not even coming close to the real deal. He leans down to press his forehead against San's, placing a gentle kiss on his nose, continuing to fuck into the older boy with consistent strokes of his hips. He's trying to draw this out but he can already feel the tight knot of an orgasm forming in his navel.

"Don't think I'm gonna last much longer, Sannie." 

"Me too, baby, make me cum, please." With a newfound determination, he sits back on his knees to manoeuvre the boy so that his hips rest on Wooyoung's thighs, body almost folded in half. But San can take it, _does_ take it, flexible legs wrapping around Wooyoung's waist with no complaint. With his fingers gripping the soft flesh of San's thighs, he begins to piston his hips with all the force he can muster, gritting his teeth at how tight San feels around his cock, whilst San lets out aborted whines and moans, choked little noises getting caught at the back of his throat. The strength behind his thrusts jostle San, and the new angle must be stimulating his prostate, because he's almost sobbing from the pleasure. "F-fuck, right there, hng, gonna cum, Woo-" San wails out seconds before he's clenching down _hard_ around Wooyoung, body twitching as ropes of cum spill from his cock, and fuck that's so hot, he made San cum _untouched_.

The erotic sight of a fucked out San writhing against his bed sheets, combined with the feeling of San's walls clenching around his cock is enough to send him over the edge after a couple more thrusts, spilling into the condom with a high whine, and he's grasping San's thighs so hard there'll probably be bruises but he's not got the presence of mind to care. He collapses forward, not caring about the sticky mess between them, and captures San's lips in a tender kiss. 

"I love you." He murmurs when he comes up for a breath. "You were so perfect for me."

"I love you too, Woo." San replies and the sincerity in his eyes and voice makes Wooyoung's heart clench. 

"You're the only one I want, San. Ever. So never doubt that, okay? I- I don't know what we are but I'll be whatever you want me to be, anything for you. I want everything you're willing to give me." He pours his heart out, because he's not sure when they'll get to have this time alone together next. He needs San to know everything he's been hiding, from himself and from San. 

"I'll give you everything, Woo, I've never wanted anyone else." 

And that's enough for now. They might not have a label, but they love each other, and after everything, all the time spent secretly yearning for the beautiful man beneath him, this is more than enough. 

**Author's Note:**

> find me @slutsxn on twt / @slvtsxn on cc, come talk to me about ateez, woosan, this fic, other fics, anything!


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